Tips and Rants: It's Not Friendship

One of these days a client is going to call you on the phone when she's in a nervous or chatty mood, and talk about things you don't expect. Maybe the topic is strangely personal, such as something that happened to her on a date. Or maybe it's work-related, but in a way you wouldn't normally expect to hear from a client, such as painful internal politics within her company. Why is she telling you this stuff? Who knows? If she's talking about a date, maybe it's because you're not in her circle of friends. If it's about company politics, maybe it's because you're not one of her co-workers. Either way, she figures you're a "safe" sounding board for her to vent her frustrations.

Because of the personal nature of what she's saying, you might be tempted to think this is an overture of friendship. Worse, you might think the situation is symmetrical. It's not. She's being unprofessional, but you shouldn't reciprocate in kind. Don't talk personally. Don't vent. Don't give advice outside your field (if she presses you, give some vacuous advice that basically mirrors what she's telling you). If you give in to the temptation to treat her like a friend, you may find yourself a month later with just an ex-client.

Of course, if the client really is a friend, then this advice doesn't apply. How can you tell the difference? Here's a simple test: Have you ever socialized with her in a setting that had absolutely nothing to do with either her work or yours? And engaged in conversation that never once touched on work-related issues? If the answer is no, then she's just a friendly client, not a friend. Stay professional by keeping a zip on your lip.